Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
