Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
