the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
