Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
