i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
