I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
