For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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