dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize