please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize