So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
