Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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