I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
