it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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