Heybabeimwearingurpanties
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
