All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
