your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize