If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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