Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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