I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize