She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
