Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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