Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
