Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
