don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
