At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize