I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize