note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
