Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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