yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
