At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize