Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
