i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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