Swine flu is the new snow day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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