my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
