speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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