First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
