FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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