sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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