At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
