First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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