Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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