are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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