Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
