It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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