peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize