I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
