The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
