So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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