i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
