office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
barbara walters just said penis...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
