I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
