we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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