But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
