Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
