just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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