Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
