Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
