she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
