Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
These tits shall not be calmed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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