he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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