Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
